An unofficial first-time visitors’ guide to Maine

By Mike Lange
Staff Writer

    Greetings from Piscataquis County!
    I have to assume you’ve picked up a copy of the Piscataquis Observer somewhere between Newport and Dover-Foxcroft. Most people who visit us arrive via Interstate 95 and Route 7.
    If this is your first visit, please don’t believe everything you’ve read about Maine. Watching “Murder, She Wrote” too many times might give you the wrong impression.

    You won’t hear too many people say “ayuh” anymore. Back in the 1960s and ‘70s, you’d hear an authentic Maine accent frequently. Now it’s almost a rarity.
    Most of us don’t eat a lot of lobster. The price isn’t the reason — it’s the amount of butter you have to slosh on the critter to bring out the flavor.
    We have a state animal (moose), insect (honeybee), bird (black-capped chickadee), fish (landlocked salmon) and berry (blueberry).  Unofficially, Allen’s coffee brandy is our state’s favorite liquor.
    Our roads are a bit bumpy this year. That’s because we had our first snowfall in early December and it didn’t melt until May. A lot of freezing and thawing will ruin a road faster than a convoy of pulp trucks.
    Pedestrians have the right-of-way in Maine — no exceptions. So if you see an old coot trying to cross Church Street in Dexter in the middle of traffic, the law says you have to stop for him.
    If you’re heading for either Greenville or Brownville, your chances of seeing a moose are very good — in fact, too good, if you’re going 70 mph at dusk. That’s when they like to take their after-dinner stroll, sometimes right across the highway.
    Otherwise, you can usually find moose cooling off in the swamp near the state garage in Shirley, just south of Greenville.
    Once you get north of Newport, don’t look for any chain restaurants except for the Dover-Foxcroft McDonald’s. We prefer home-style cooking from local chefs.
    I‘ve ate in every restaurant between Dexter and Greenville plus a few places in Dover Foxcroft and Milo. I’m still alive, kicking and a bit overweight.
    There aren’t any Holiday Inns or even Motel 6’s up this way, either. But there are plenty of places to stay overnight where the proprietors treat you like family.
    We still have gas stations where you don’t have to pre-pay before pumping. But don’t try to take off without paying. Our police departments are a lot more sophisticated than Cabot Cove.
    You’re not going to get a cell phone signal in a lot of places. But don’t lose your cool. You’ll be out of most “dead zones” within 15 minutes, unless you’re heading due north.
    Nights tend to be cool in Maine, even in July and August. However, locals like to wear shorts once the temperature climbs above 50. Jackets are optional.
    So enjoy our scenery, respect our traditions, don’t overpay or under-tip and you’ll do just fine.
    I came up here as a tourist in 1972 and married a native in 1980. They haven’t chased me out yet.
    Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.