‘Armpit’ joke falls flat in Garden State

By Mike Lange
Staff Writer

    The makers of Dove, the squishy-soft, scented bar soap, came up with what they thought was a cute advertising idea a few weeks ago.
    They launched a billboard campaign in New Jersey, reminding residents that some outsiders refer to their state as the “Armpit of America.”
    Commuters were greeted with a picture of an attractive lady with an upraised arm and the accompanying text: “Dear New Jersey, when people call you ‘The Armpit of America,’ take it as a compliment. Sincerely, Dove.”

    Dove’s corporate headquarters is in Englewood Cliffs, N.J., so they must have assumed that most people would see the humor in their ad. But based on the flack they took via mail, call-in radio shows and social media posts, Dove probably made a massive blunder.
    Matthew McCarthy, the senior marketing director at Dove’s parent company, Unilever, told The New York Times last week that he didn’t think many people would find the ad offensive. “The message that we want to get out there is that the armpit is not a bad thing, and that we stand for caring for the armpit,” he said.
    I had to read that sentence a few times to make sense out of it — but hey, I’ve never lived in New Jersey, although I’ve spent some less-than-quality time there.
    I was on drill sergeant duty with an Army Reserve unit at Fort Dix for 30 days and the air was so humid that my starched uniform was caked with sweat by 8 a.m. I think Fort Dix was a magnet for smog from Philadelphia. But I never used Dove.
    Still, poking fun at your state or hometown is a time-honored tradition in Maine.
    I live in St. Albans with two convenience stores, a church, restaurant, school, hardware store, a few working farms and auto repair shop. A tour of downtown St. Albans takes five minutes. A traffic jam is two pickup trucks, a school bus and a tractor.
    Asking directions in Maine is an eye-opener for visitors. Chances are you’ll get an answer that begins with “Do you know where (fill in the blank) lives? Well, it’s about two miles up the road from there.”
    Then there’s the “You know you’re from Maine when” jokes:
•    You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup and vinegar.
•    You pronounce Calais, Machias, Vienna and Madrid correctly.
•    You have more miles on your snowblower than on your car.
•    You describe the four seasons as winter, still winter, almost winter and construction.
•    You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.
•    You thought “Grumpy Old Men” was a documentary.
    Mill towns take the brunt of jokes due to their unpleasant scent during production.
    But one of my favorites making the rounds years ago was about a hard-luck character who found out he only had two weeks to live. So his buddy asked him how he was going to spend his last days on Earth.
    “I’m going to move to Rumford.”
    “Rumford? You’ve got to be kidding. Why?”
    “Because it will seem like two years.”
Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.