Steps and halves

By Nancy Battick

Many genealogists deal with steps and halves in their family trees. Some of these relationships can be tricky and involve family rifts. 

I was contacted by a man asking if his wife had to include her step siblings in her tree. The answer is no, it’s your tree, and you can omit anyone you want, including your full siblings if you wish — though I’d advise you not to do that. 

A genealogist usually wants to create the most complete tree possible, and that means including everyone, even people you don’t like. It’s sad but true that often people really don’t like all their family members. They may love them but not necessarily like them. I’m sure many of you reading this column know what I mean.

Let’s define what’s a “half” and what’s a “step.” A half sibling means you share one common parent, either your mother or father. This usually occurs in cases of divorce or the death of one parent who remarries, or a child born out of wedlock due to an affair. Your half sibling and his or her descendants are part of your family.

A step sibling is the child of a stepparent, a man or woman who marries your parent either because of a divorce or the death of a spouse. For example, if after a divorce your father remarries, his new wife becomes your stepmother. If she has children from a former marriage, they are your step siblings. 

Most genealogical software has options to enter multiple marriage partners and children. If your half sibling is the product of a second or even first marriage of one of your parents, you can enter the details into your software easily. A second marriage can also be entered, and if you want to be thorough, you can enter the stepparent’s earlier marriage and the names of any children. 

As an example, my 10th great-grandfather, Gov. Thomas Prence of Plymouth Colony, married four times. I’m descended from his first wife, Patience Brewster, who died in childbirth 10 years after their marriage. I’ve faithfully recorded all Thomas’ marriages with all the information about each wife and their children and any prior marriages because they’re part of my family. 

I later learned I’m also descended from the child of Thomas and his second wife Mary Collier.

As I said earlier in this column, step and half relationships can be uncomfortable, but I still urge you to mention these individuals in your family tree or history. As a historian I don’t believe in erasing history, no matter how painful or inconvenient it may be. 

Try to record the complete picture of your family, “warts and all,” as the saying goes. I would also highly recommend including first, second or third partners of any of your other relatives. 

But if the existence of a step or half is really too painful, it’s your family tree and history. Ultimately, it’s completely up to you how you manage the situation and build your tree. 

Columnist Nancy Battick of Dover-Foxcroft has researched genealogy for over 30 years. She is past president of the Maine Genealogical Society, author of several genealogical articles and co-transcribed the Vital Records of Dover-Foxcroft. Nancy holds an MA in History from UM. Reader emails are welcome at nbattick@roadrunner.com.