A quiz to help find the right Democrat for you

With more than 15 Democrats already running for president in 2020 and more announcing by the day, it might be hard for voters to pick a favorite, especially this far way from November 2020.

After all, for Democrats even the lowliest of low candidates would be a vast – and consequential – improvement over the current occupant of the White House. Already, it’s a deep field with a lot of different types of candidates and different experiences.

To help out my fellow Democrats, here’s a scoring system to help you find right candidate for you:

If their name starts with a “B,” plus 1. Bill de Blasio, if he runs, gets 2 points. (Beth Warren, sure, I guess. If you say so.)

If you like them but can’t pronounce their name, minus 2 points. Pete (Boot-edge-edge), Kamala. Tulsi. Klobuchar. Gillibrand.

If you don’t like them and can’t pronounce their name, minus 1 point.

If they made up their name or go by a nickname, minus 1 point. Beto? If their first name is awful, then plus 1 point for creativity. Beto? If they’re nickname is painful, plus 2 for being true to themselves. Beto?

Has Trump given them a nickname? Plus 10.

If you’ve actually met the candidate, plus 5.

If you met them and like them, plus 7. If you met them and didn’t like them, plus 2. They still get credit for saying hello.

If they’ve admitted to smoking marijuana, plus 1. If they’ve bragged about smoking marijuana, minus 2. If they have a thoughtful platform about drugs and the opioid epidemic, plus 3.

If they drink craft beer anywhere, plus 2. If they brew craft beer, plus 5. (Craft brewing: Part agriculture, part manufacturing, part marketing and all magic.) If you’d like to have a beer with them, minus 5. Really, nobody cares who you want to have a beer with. Really. Nobody.

If they support Medicare for All, plus 1. If they support expanding access to health care, but not Medicare for All, plus 1. If they want a public option for Obamacare, plus 1. If they want to stop the attack on Medicare, Medicaid and Veterans Affairs, plus 5. Oh hell, let’s be honest: Republicans want to take health care away from people, Democrats don’t. Call this one a draw and give all the Ds 10 points.

If they have detailed policy proposals that touch on breaking up huge monopolies, banking regulatory reform, climate change, criminal justice reform and strengthening democracy, plus 3. If they’re really cool, plus 3. If they’re too cool, minus 5.

Did they write a book, plus 1. Did you read it, plus 2.

Have they been a mayor, member of the school board or on the town council? Plus 3. Have they been a governor? Plus 2. Are they a US senator? Minus 1 (unless they’re from your home state, plus 3). I know, I know: But everyone in the Senate thinks they should be president.
Veteran, plus 2; small business owner, plus 1; big business CEO, minus 1. Reality TV star, minus 50.

Part of a hacker collaborative, plus 1. Speaks a foreign language, plus 1. Ran into a burning building to save someone, plus 4. Colluded with Russia, minus 100,000.

Are they a woman? Plus 5. We really need to break that glass ceiling.

If the candidate emails you, plus 1. If the candidate’s finance director emails you, plus 1. If they’re husband, wife, mother, daughter, son or dog emails you, minus 1. If their campaign emails you 10 times a day, minus 1,000.

Agrees with you on the policies you prioritize, plus 10. They actually have policy proposals, plus 5. You know what they are, plus 3.

You think they can beat Trump, plus 1,500.

Now divide by the Electoral College and subtract voter suppression for your final score.

David Farmer is a public affairs, political and media consultant in Portland, where he lives with his wife and two children. He was senior adviser to Democrat Mike Michaud’s 2014 campaign for governor.