Observations from a retired RN: When dementia sneaks into your life and or the lives of your family

Senior Matters
by Peg Seneca

    Dementia does indeed seem to often sneak into our lives; partly, because the signs and symptoms can be subtle and partly, because of denial and discomfort in addressing it. One thing that is sure for the caregiver is that you will be on a long roller coaster ride that will challenge your total being.
    As a nurse who has spent many hours helping neighbors and friends through difficult times, my observations are that it is important to get as many “ducks in order” before dementia becomes a reality, so that you are able to make the ride a little smoother. Old age is our greatest risk factor for getting dementia.

    Following is a list of things I suggest you do before retirement or the age of 65:
• See a lawyer; be sure you have a will and that it is up to date as to how you want it. Be sure you and your spouse have power of attorney for each other that includes a “gifting clause.” Be sure you have a living will/advanced directive that will express your end of life wishes if/ when you are unable .
• Inform spouse, and appropriate loved ones that you have the above legal documents and their location if/ when you become incapacitated.
• Inform yourself about signs and symptoms of dementia. involve your doctor early with any concerns you may have about yourself or your spouse. With a diagnosis of dementia it is very important that the concerned spouse or loved one attend the doctor’s appointment. your history of the changes you are seeing in your spouse/loved one becomes vital to the doctor.
• Share with family members and friends your thoughts, feelings and wishes if you ever develop dementia.
• Educate yourself now about what resources and services are available for caring for your loved one with dementia. This should include friends, family members, church family, Agency On Aging, Pine Tree Hospice volunteers, Highlands Senior Network, adult day programs, YMCA senior programs, local boarding homes and nursing homes.
    Once you get your “ducks” in order you will be better able to “live well, love much and laugh often” through your senior years.
    We invite readers to offer feedback about this column and to suggest topics for future articles. You may do so by contacting Meg Callaway of the Charlotte White Center at (207) 947-1410 and mcallaway@charlottewhite.org or Lesley Fernow at (207) 992-6822 and lmfernow@rcn.com.