Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance

Drop-in support group lets participants know they are not alone  

By Stuart Hedstrom

Staff Writer

DOVER-FOXCROFT — Every Tuesday afternoon from 1 to 2:30 p.m. the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance, a community-based organization working to end domestic violence, offers a free and confidential drop-in support group, with childcare provided, for those impacted by domestic violence at its 8 Mechanic Street location. Women attending come from all walks and stages of life, with some starting to question if what they are experiencing is abuse and others working to overcome past incidents.

“I think that the group is helpful because it lets you know you are not alone,” said one participant after a recent session. “There is a topic that you focus on, it helps open your eyes.”

The group is co-facilitated by Ginger Hutchins, who recently retired from the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance and now serves as a volunteer, and Joan Shapleigh. Hutchins said she has involved with the support group for over 25 years. Shapleigh has been volunteering on Tuesday afternoons for about a dozen years, and she has been involved with Womancare in different capacities — several years ago the Piscataquis County agency merged with Spruce Run in Penobscot County — since its formation.

“This group has been ongoing since the late 1980s and has met every Tuesday since,” Hutchins said, saying it is close to her heart. “It is specifically for women who are struggling with any kind of abuse issue.”

“I had a friend recommend that I come here,” a second participant said. “It was difficult to do on my own. Not only is it helpful with logistics of here are the red flags and here are healthy relationships, but a lot of the women say how nice it is to come in and be safe.”

“We are all really friendly,” the first group attendee said. “It’s comfortable, it’s safe.” She said participants can open up and discuss topics “you can’t talk about outside,” as “you’re not judged.”

Hutchins said the meetings currently have about four or five attendees, and Shapleigh said in the past the group has numbered to over a dozen taking part. “It’s a multi-generational group,” Hutchins said, saying over years the age group has ranged into the 80s.

“We have women come to group who are still in abusive relationships,” Hutchins, while others are no longer in such partnerships and are working to overcome their past experiences.

“We have women who come back to give support,” Shapleigh said, as Hutchins added this has resonated with other group members.

“We do always have a topic,” Hutchins said, mentioning the group has discussed working on self-esteem, trust, setting boundaries and assertiveness. The facilitators want to make the sessions as easy as they can for those taking part, as no one is asked to talk if they are not ready. Instead they can simply listen if they so choose, whatever feels best.

Shapleigh said attendees learn how to recognize the potential signs of abuse through a “power and control wheel” tool. The wheel includes indicators such as if their partner is using emotional abuse, intimidation, male privilege, isolation and minimizing, denying and blaming.

“If we find women dealing with issues that are more than we can deal with we can help refer them to additional help,” Shapleigh said. Hutchins added that she and Shapleigh do not want the group to take the place of mental health services.

“Individual therapy is wonderful but group support is also wonderful,” Shapleigh said.

“It’s walk-in and it’s always there,” the second group participant said. “It’s nice to have something to count on and be stabilizing and safe.” She added, “We laugh a lot in group, which is wonderful as is being able to be with each other and be supportive.”

“Confidentially is extremely important,” Shapleigh said, as she and Hutchins agreed this is vital in such a rural area. They said the meetings are promoted as free and confidential and confidentiality agreements help ensure group participants feel safe and comfortable with what they have shared not leaving the building.

Hutchins said having childcare available each Tuesday on the premises, “I think is a huge plus, I know it is reducing a barrier.”

For more information on the Tuesday afternoon drop-in support group, please call 564-8166 (the Spruce Run-Womancare Alliance 24-hour hotline can be reached at 1-800-863-9909) or go to www.sprucrun.net. The website includes an emergency exit feature, enabling a visitor to click on a button to immediately be taken to another unrelated site.