Beer politics

By Mike Lange
Staff Writer

    For those keeping track of the best use of your tax dollars, I present the latest piece of work from State Sen. John Patrick of Rumford entitled “An Act to Standardize Pints of Beer Sold in Maine.”

    The bill, which went before the Veterans’ and Legal Affairs Committee last week, mandated that establishments advertising pints of beer for sale must pour 16 ounces of the brew into the glass. Foam doesn’t count. It all must be liquid.
    I’m not sure how this bill ever saw the light of day considering that welfare reform, revenue sharing, health care and road maintenance are the issues taxpayers seem more concerned about.
    But hey — who am I to judge? After all, there was also a bill in the hopper this year to name an official state dog and the whoopie pie became Maine’s official treat during the last session.
    Putting things into context, Patrick’s hometown of Rumford is loaded with social clubs and saloons, some of which open at 6 a.m. to cater to the graveyard shift workers at the paper mill.
    Maybe Patrick was having a brew with a constituent when they noticed that their glasses weren’t filled to the brim. “There ought to be a law against this!” his drinking companion bellowed. Patrick took another sip and agreed.
    Unfortunately for him, the Maine Bureau of Alcoholic Beverages didn’t.
    According to the Lewiston Sun-Journal, Gregory Mineo, director of the state agency, said flatly that his employees have better things to do than measure glasses in taverns to make sure patrons are getting their money’s worth.
    Mineo added that he doesn’t have enough staff to enforce realistic laws like the rash of fake ID’s circulating among teens.
    Patrick defended his bill, citing the growth of Maine breweries and the preference of draft beers in most establishments. Customers could be shortchanged to the tune of millions per dollars each year.
Bumper White, spokesman for an organization known as Full Pints Association of Maine — no, I’m not making this up — testified that “our rights as consumers are still under constant attack by unscrupulous businesses and we need to be protected.”
    Well, Bumper, here’s a news flash. There is plenty of competition in the tavern industry. If you think you’re being shortchanged, short-pinted or overcharged, then stop patronizing the place.
    I like draft beer. I’ve paid as much as $4.89 and as little as $3.75 for a 16-ounce Blue Moon. Needless to say, I don’t visit the high priced establishments very often. And I never check the foam level, especially when I’m thirsty.
    I know that one social club in Skowhegan has downsized their regular draft beers to 14 ounces from 16 in lieu of raising prices. That’s common in the grocery industry as well.
    We already have enough Nanny State laws on the books to protect us from ourselves.
    Like most frivolous bills, LD 122 will probably wind up in the trashcan or the recycling bin, as the Veterans’ and Legal Affairs Committee has better ways to spend their time.
    And I’ll drink to that.
Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.