Stories I’m glad I didn’t cover

By Mike Lange
Staff Writer
    Happy New Year!
    I wrote articles on several different topics this year, including some memorable ones and others that I’d just as soon forget.
    But I’m very thankful that I didn’t have to cover these stories.
Good thing it wasn’t loaded
    A Massachusetts woman was arrested in Avon (a small town north of Farmington) after police say she beat a pick-up truck with a shotgun while her boyfriend called “911” from inside the truck.

    Franklin County Sheriff Scott Nichols said the incident allegedly began when an argument between Diane Bouley, 47, of Erving, Mass., and her boyfriend escalated and Bouley pointed a shotgun at the man.
    The man, who was not identified, left the house and went into his pick-up, Nichols said. Bouley is accused of then taking a shotgun and beating the pick-up truck with it. (Central Maine Morning Sentinel)
And a smelly New Year, too
    Having packages stolen from your front door is a crappy experience for anyone, but a woman in Washington, D.C., got her sweet revenge in a very stinky way.
    After having numerous packages stolen in front of her house, Andrea Hutzler started leaving packages of dog poop instead — and the crooks quickly took them away.
    Hutzler said she’s been plagued by doorstop thefts for the past two months. Christmas gifts, clothes and even 6-foot-long aluminum construction poles have been stolen from the front of her home. (New York Daily News)
A grandma is not necessarily a friend
    A woman in Clearwater, Fla., is facing assault charges after allegedly slapping her grandmother multiple times. The purported reason: The grandmother wouldn’t accept the suspect’s Facebook friend request.
    Rachel Anne Hayes, 27, was arrested Thursday on a felony charge of domestic battery on an elderly person
    Hayes’ arrest affidavit said alcohol was a factor in the alleged altercation. (WSOC-TV.com)
She should have borrowed a bus
    A middle school teacher in Oklahoma has been fired after school officials say she put students into her car trunk to run an errand.
    Heather Cagle, who taught at Wells Middle School in Catoosa, allegedly packed 11 of her students into her Honda Accord for a trip to Walmart for snacks, according to Fox 23. Seven of the kids piled into the backseat, two rode in front, and two 12-year-old girls were locked in the trunk. “It was a terrible mistake,” she told the school board. (Huffington Post)
Next time, stay on the shelf
    Police say an elf on the sauce is facing drunken driving charges in New Jersey.
    Riverdale police tell NJ.com that 23-year-old Brian Chellis was found passed out in a car wearing an Elf on the Shelf costume.
    Lt. James Macintosh says the Cedar Grove man was asleep behind the wheel of a van with its engine running, lights on and music blaring. He says Chellis was wearing a red shirt, red pants and white ruffled collar.
    Police added that the suspect seemed confused about where he was and had an open can of beer in the car. (ABC News)
    Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.