Two great inventions: Caller ID and mute button

By Mike Lange
Staff Writer
    Here’s a public service announcement — sort of.
    If you’re working for a political candidate or an advocacy group, you can do yourself a favor by not calling me between now and Election Day.
    I got into the habit of screening my calls years ago, thanks to one of the best inventions of all time: caller ID. Basically, if I don’t recognize the number, the call goes to the answering machine. Then I may or may not return it.
    I know it sounds harsh, but after a while you get tired of being inundated with surveys, sales pitches, pleas and promotions. Once in a great while, I might participate in a survey. But don’t take my word as gospel truth.
    One recent conversation with a pollster went something like this.
    “If the election was held today, who would be your choice for (office)?”
    “Nobody”

    “Ah, well — that’s really not an answer, sir.”
    “Sure it is. I don’t like anyone in that race. I’m leaving the space blank.”
    “So you’re undecided?”
    “No, I’m decided. I wouldn’t vote for any of these candidates for dogcatcher of Bowerbank. Can I go now?”
    And I never get another call from that campaign again.
    Some robocalls are really the pits. They usually ask for my wife because she’s enrolled in a party and I’m not.  Many of them plead with her to send money to a candidate who really doesn’t need it.
    But thanks to an infusion of cash from various political action groups, we’re going to be swamped with television and Internet ads for the next few weeks. Bangor Daily News columnist Mario Moretto estimates that the PACs will spend about $12.2 million this year trying to sway your vote.
    The Internet barrage has already started. Anti-Emily Cain ads starting popping up on a host of sites I visit frequently, including out-of-state newspapers.
    Once in a while, a pro-Paul LePage banner ad will flash on some Maine-based sites.
    But that’s only the tip of the media iceberg.
    If you’re an avid television watcher, you’ll get an eyeful between now and Nov. 4. And most of the ads will be in prime time, so it’s hard to avoid them.
    In many cases, the candidates prefer to attack their opponents instead of telling us why they can do a better job in the office. Some of them are rather humorous. They use unflattering photos of their opponents, caught in a moment of anger or bug-eyed amazement.
    And it’s either my imagination or a technical marvel, but commercials always sound louder than the regular programs.
    Thus, the mute button becomes the second-best invention of all time — at least during an election year.
    And Bowerbank really doesn’t have an elected dogcatcher.
    Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.