Solid knowledge of ancestors helps children succeed

Family Searcher
by Nina Brawn

Solid knowledge of ancestors helps children succeed

    Genealogy has always been a way for me to connect to family, both past and present. I come from a family of 10 children and I loved most everything about that. (Okay, I admit there were rare moments when I wished to be an only child.) My father also came from a large family so there were aunts, uncles and cousins scattered throughout New England. However, I only had one living grandparent by the time I was born, and I felt so deprived listening to the stories of the “Nana” I never knew. I think it was those stories and those missing connections that fueled my beginning passion for genealogy. The more people I discovered, the more connected I felt.

    I think that finding out how much I didn’t know made me want to be sure those names and stories are passed on before they are lost. I have always felt it was important, but finally I have research that backs me up!
    An interesting New York Times article by Bruce Feiler, summed it up rather nicely. Mr. Feiler has been researching “team building” practices of successful companies and organizations in an effort to find ways to strengthen families. (“The Stories That Bind Us”, Feiler, B., New York Times, March 17, 2013, page ST1) After years of research, he has concluded that: “the single most important thing you can do for your family, it seems, is to develop a strong family narrative.”
    Apparently, when I have used stories of Great-grandmother Kittie Gallagher’s strength in the face of her life’s many difficulties to help my grandkids overcome their own obstacles, I am building up my family in ways I never imagined. According to Feiler’s work, the children with the strongest self-confidence have what they call a “strong intergenerational self.” Children who know a lot about their families tend to do better when they face challenges. This “core identity” helps them to know they belong to “something bigger than themselves.”
    After meeting with military experts, family scholars, and business leaders, Feiler felt that he needed to find a way to evaluate this in children.
    Working with colleagues from Emory University they developed a “Do You Know” scale with 20 questions such as “Do you know where your grandparents grew up?”; “Do you know about an illness or something really terrible that happened in your family?” Then compared it with a battery of psychological tests the kids had taken, and this confirmed their hypothesis. Tested again after the events of September 11, 2001, those same kids once again showed better resiliency.
    So put your genealogy to work in your own family! Use holidays, vacations and big family get-togethers to convey this sense of history. It is worth looking up the whole article, but as Feiler sums it: “The bottom line: if you want a happier family, create, refine, and retell the story of your family’s best moments and your relations’ ability to bounce back from the difficult ones. That act alone may increase the odds that your family will thrive for many generations to come.”
    Nina G. Brawn has lived in the Dover-Foxcroft area for over 50 years and currently lives there with her husband Fred. Nina was the last of 10 children, has three children of her own and nine grandchildren. She can be reached online at ninagbrawn@gmail.com.