New Year’s Resolutions are made to be broken

By Mike Lange Staff Writer
    In my previous life as a weekly newspaper editor, one of my least-popular assignments was convincing the staff to ask prominent folks in the community what their New Year’s resolution was going to be.

    Some of the responses were pretty humorous. One town manager said he was going to resolve to stop talking to reporters.
    They asked an 80-something year-old selectman what his resolution was, and he responded, “Stop chasing women. I’m too old to catch them.”
    Other responses were the mundane “lose weight,” “don’t get stressed out” and “spend more time with the family.”
    Looking back, I now think the whole concept of New Year’s resolutions is rather silly.
    For example, I’m a little overweight. But my weight hasn’t fluctuated by more than 10 pounds in 10 years, and I’m healthy. Besides, I earned every pound I carry.
    I never get stressed at work nowadays, but that wasn’t always the case.
    When I was a sportswriter for a daily newspaper, I often had to dash home or to the office — whichever was closest — and bang out a 14-inch basketball story in 20 minutes to make deadline.
    That was stressful. I was always worried I’d misspell someone’s name or misidentify the leading scorer. If you think soccer moms take their sport seriously, try dealing with a basketball dad.
    Last week week, I did manage to spend time with the whole family. My youngest daughter and grandson flew in from California for a few days. So we had an old-fashioned family Christmas at her sister’s home in Farmingdale.
    The ice storm made roads treacherous and the threat of a power outage loomed over most of Kennebec County through Christmas day. But I at least got a head start on the “spending more time with the family” resolution.
    There are some more practical resolutions I could make if I wanted to.
    I’m forgetful at times. My wife hands me a small grocery list, but I often forget items plainly written on the sheet.
    Sometimes I even leave the house without the list. So I could resolve to pay greater attention to small details.
    I also should clean my home office more often. My wife says that there is a difference between “clean” and “male clean.” When you thoroughly clean something, it means you do everything from the top letter tray to the carpeting.
    “Male clean” means I wipe everything down I can reach. Vacuuming is optional. Besides, it scares the cats.
    I plan ahead for work-related projects, but often procrastinate on smaller stuff.
    The warm November weather lulled me into thinking winter wouldn’t arrive for a while.
    So that’s why some of the solar lamps in the yard are buried in two feet of ice-packed snow. There also may be a garden rake out there somewhere.
    In any case, I wish everyone a Happy New Year, and good luck keeping your resolutions.
    I have a hard enough time keeping my office clean.
    Mike Lange is a staff writer with the Piscataquis Observer. His opinions are his own and don’t necessarily reflect those of this newspaper.